#but where are those who share the memories

[loganhowlettshousewife]

animal

chapter 6

friendly reminder that i am not a writer, i'm just a girl who loves logan howlett and wanted to write something exploring his animalistic side since i so rarely see it done. my first language is also not english, so please do not be rude when giving me any feedback.

warnings: swearing, smut, oral (fem!receiving), unprotected piv, my first time writing smut so i'm sorry if it's horrible

series masterlist │my masterlist

you’ve known three versions of logan so far. the feral, animalistic version of logan that seems to be at the core of who he is - without any memories, that’s the personality he reverted to, those were the actions he took when controlled only by his baser instincts. then there’s the version of logan you imagine he’s created over the years to deal with his pain, the one that drinks himself stupid and fights against his nature to make others more comfortable, terrified to hurt anyone, terrified that he’ll prove to everyone that he’s a monster.

this version of logan though, the one you see before you now, is as close as you’ve ever gotten to knowing the real him. a person's memories and experiences make them who they are, shape them as a person, and the same can be said for logan. but he’s no longer trying to hide what his mutation makes him, at least not as much as before. he’s not the innocent, loving man you’d brought into your home - you doubt you’ll ever get that exact version of logan back - but he expresses himself in a new way now.

he’s explained to you some of the conditions of his mutation, why he acts the way he does. it makes more sense to you now, why his face is always finding its way to your neck, pressed to the spot where your scent is the most pronounced, mixing your scent with his to mark you. it soothes him, to walk by you and recognise that even when he’s not at your side his presence clings to you.

it’s nice, watching him slowly let his guard down, opening up to you. you’re proud of him every time he mutters something about himself or his past to you, quickly and quietly as though he’s partially hoping you won't hear him.

“i love you,” he says, taking a break from kissing you to breathe the words into the shared air between you.

you smile back at him. the words are as easy as breathing. “i love you too.”

he kisses you again, loving and intimate, a hand going to your waist, gripping onto your flesh tightly as if you’ll vanish if he ever lets go. you’ll have bruises in the shapes of his fingers tomorrow, a reminder of his touch, of the way he worships your body. you part your lips for him, gasping lightly when his grip tightens, giving him free reign to explore your mouth with his tongue.

heat grows in your stomach, wetness flooding between your legs, insistent, and you grind down on his lap, feeling him growing hard underneath you. he’s big, you’ve seen him naked enough times to know, but it feels different with you pressed against him, much more imposing.

“need you,” he groans, fingers sliding under the elastic waistband of your sleep shorts, releasing it to watch it slap your skin. you gasp again and he chases the noise with his mouth, catching it on your lips.

he takes his time pulling your sleep shorts down your legs, reverently. there’s always a strange duality to intimacy with logan. he’s intense in everything he does, taking you apart multiple times a night, his gaze almost predatory as he explores your body. and yet he treats you like a queen, taking his time to make sure you feel good before he ever does anything for himself.

he spreads your legs open with his large hands, kneeling between your legs. he kisses up your thighs, so close to where you want him and you squirm.

“please, lo,” you beg, your hands in his hair.

he starts off slow, a consistent rhythm that has you begging for more, your moans growing breathier and louder until he can no longer control himself, eating you out like a man starved. his beard burns against your thighs, a delicious pain that only makes the pleasure more intense.

he adds one finger, the thick digit brushing against your walls, pressing against the spot inside you that makes you cry out. his fingers are bigger than your own, longer too, and he’s always much more effective at fingering you to an orgasm, able to give you what you need. he always knows what you need.

he adds a second finger, and that paired with the way his tongue drags against your clit, catching on the tip, has the pressure building inside you. 

your orgasm hits you like a wave, a slow crescendo and then you’re falling. you ride his face as you cum, using your grip on his hair to pull him closer to you, feeling his nose bump against your clit as you press your cunt against his mouth. you shudder as you come down from your high and logan pulls away, mouth and beard glistening with you.

he’s still nearly fully dressed, which you find absolutely unfair, so you pull his shirt off, tossing it aside, making quick work of removing the rest of his clothes until he’s gloriously naked. his cock is hard and proud, flushed and straining.

he needs you, and he tells you so, the words echoing between you, the sentiment going straight to your core.

you wrap a hand around his cock, stroking him a few times, running your thumb over the tip to collect the beads of precum and rub it down his shaft. he groans at the feeling, rutting into your hand. usually this is the part where you take him into your mouth, let him fuck your throat until you’re gagging around him and spit dribbles from your lips around his thick cock.

but you want something different today, you want more. you haven’t taken this step yet, you didn’t feel ready before, wanting to wait until you were at a point where your rocky, unlabeled relationship felt solid. now, you couldn’t imagine not being ready to share this step with him, to give him every piece of you, putting your life and your love in his hands and begging him to keep it, keep you.

“lay down,” you order him, letting go of his cock to shove lightly at his chest, not hard enough to actually move him - you’re definitely not strong enough for that - but he goes willingly, and you smile at how quickly he complies.

you’re not usually the one giving orders in the bedroom, but he’s always weak to your whims, regardless of how small or meaningless they might seem. he wants to make you happy, something he’s told you multiple times when you teased him about how willing he was to do anything you asked of him. you could easily make him submit to you in bed if you batted your eyelashes at him and asked nicely.

he watches you with dark, lustful eyes as you crawl over him, straddling his lap, grinding your leaking pussy against his hard cock. you both moan at the feeling of your wetness sliding against his length, at how ready you both are for this.

“i want you inside me,” you say.

“are you sure?” logan asks, breathless. he wants it, you can see how hard he’s fighting not to rut up into you, but he’s holding back. it makes you feel warm all over, the way he cares so deeply about you, never pushing your boundaries, never wanting to push for more than what you’ll allow. it makes you want him even more.

“i’m sure,” you affirm, “don’t think i’ve ever felt more ready for anything, actually.”

you line him up with your entrance and slowly sink down, feeling the stretch with every inch of him. you're thankful he stretched you out with his fingers, but you have to stop to breathe regardless when he’s halfway inside, the sound of your heavy breathing mixing with his own ragged pants as he fights to let you take the time you need.

finally you sink down onto him, a sigh escaping your lips when he’s fully sheathed inside you. you roll your hips to adjust to the feeling and logan growls, low in his throat. 

you lift yourself up halfway before sinking back down, a new rush of heat rolling over you when you hear the way logan groans. he holds onto your waist as you move, helping lift you so you don’t get too tired, but eventually you start to falter, unable to keep up the steady rhythm. you pout as your movements become slower, annoyed at yourself, but logan takes over the moment you can’t, rolling you over onto your back so he’s hovering above you.

you wince at the feeling of him slipping out of you, but as soon as he has you positioned on your back the way he wants you, he’s lining himself up with your hole again, fucking into you hard and fast.

“this okay?” he asks, though you doubt he needs the answer given how you’re whining and writhing underneath him.

his thrusts are relentless, a steady pace that he could probably keep up for days and days. he has wonderful stamina, something you’d learnt the first time you’d made him cum when his cock immediately hardened again in your hand, your eyes widening as you looked up at him. he’d shrugged and smirked as he explained he didn’t have much of a refractory period. “‘least not when i’m with someone as pretty as you,” he’d continued.

he’s using one hand to grope your breasts and the other sneaks down between your legs, rubbing circles over your clit. he’s hitting that perfect spot inside of you that has you seeing stars, and you can feel your second orgasm approaching, more intense than the first.

“fuck,” logan grunts, “y’feel so good, so tight.”

he looks wild, fucking into you like this, his eyes roaming over your body like a predator assessing his prey. you feel your stomach twist pleasantly at the thought. he keeps up his pace until you’re coming around him and even as you squeeze around him he doesn’t falter.

“logan!” you scream as he continues, overstimulation bordering on painful.

he grunts and growls, and you grip onto his shoulders, your nails digging into his arms. he moans loud when you accidentally draw blood from the intensity of the hold you have on him. you feel the blood welling against your fingertips and then the strange sensation of his skin stitching itself back together until it's smooth again under your touch.

“gonna breed you,” logan growls, and you babble incoherently in response. you’re not quite sure his words are even penetrating your mind. all you hear is the sound of his voice, the rough timbre of it. “gonna make you mine. my mate.”

“yes, yes logan, please, come inside me. need you!” his thrusts get more erratic as he gets closer to the edge, and then they falter for a moment and he’s coming. hot spurts painting your insides as he keeps fucking into you, shallow thrusts that push his cum deeper, closer to your womb.

he presses a kiss to your stomach, nuzzling his head into the soft flesh there. his breathing is as ragged as yours. you feel completely undone, your mind fuzzy and content, like you could stay right here forever and you’d be perfectly happy.

“that was amazing,” you say.

he looks worried now, eyes narrowing like he’s not quite sure he trusts you to be telling the truth, like what just happened wasn’t the best sex you’ve ever had in your life.

“you sure?” he asks, “that wasn’t too much?”

“no,” you smile, “i told you, i like when you act like an animal.”

you can feel his cock hardening again inside you, pressing against your walls. he moves his hips so you can feel it shifting with the change in position, at the perfect angle that he knows will make you scream. you watch his lips curl up, a dark smile that matches the darkness in his eyes as he stares at the way you’re trapped underneath him.

“do you?” he says, not a real question. you love when the feral side of him takes control, and you’re watching it happen now, can read what he wants from the look in his eyes.

yeah, you’re in for a long night. and you couldn’t think of anything better.

“you called me your mate,” you comment much later, feeling sated and boneless with your head resting on logan’s solid chest, feeling it rise and fall along with the steady pace of his breathing.

logan hesitates for a long moment. you can feel him tense underneath you, his muscles freezing in place, the smallest hitch in his breath that you wouldn’t have noticed if not for your close proximity. you don’t mind waiting for him to cycle through his thoughts, the words caught in his throat, seconds ticking by in comfortable silence until his frame relaxes once more and he pulls you in closer.

“i did,” is his only reply. short, succinct, waiting expectantly for your response, your reaction to a term that is distinctly animal-like. it’s also the first time he’s put any sort of label on your relationship, other than calling you “mine”, possessively whispering the word in your ear as if you’ll forget if he doesn’t remind you.

“what does that mean for us?” you ask, tracing patterns on his skin, forming each letter of your name with your index finger, “we’ve never actually said what we are, you know. and i can’t say i know the ‘human’ equivalent of the term mate. does this mean you’re my boyfriend? something else?”

“that’s a childish term,” logan says, lines forming between his brows as he frowns.

you smile, leaning in to kiss away the tension there, feeling the slight sheen of sweat that had formed over his skin while he fucked you, not quite dry yet. you should be getting up to shower, rinsing away the salty layer of sweat from your activities, throwing the ruined bedsheets into the laundry to be replaced by clean ones.

but you’re comfortable where you are now, avoiding the mess you’d made of the sheets by curling up on the other side of the bed, wishing you could push up closer to logan despite the fact that you’re already as close as humanly possible. if only you could crawl into his skin, break past his ribs and settle there, protected where no one else could ever reach you, tucked right against his heart.

“what would you want me to call you then?” you ask.

“for now, nothing,” logan says. in his eyes you see a battle, words and thoughts that you wish you could read, that you hope he’ll one day say aloud. “there isn’t a word that’s enough to describe this. one day i’ll be your husband, but until then, just say you’re mine. my girl.”

“are you proposing to me?” you laugh, eyes bright and smile pulling at your cheeks in a way that’s nearly painful.

“no,” he grunts, “when i propose to you it’ll be much better than this.”

and what else can you do but fall into him? your heart feels like it might burst from the warmth that fills you, threatening to spill out from every cell in your body, too much for anyone to properly handle. it’s on your hands when you use them to hold him down, swinging your leg over his lap so you’re straddled atop of him, kissing him in the hopes that it’s enough to express what words will never be enough to express.

he meets you in the middle, mouth hot and demanding. you’ve never felt more wanted, never felt more loved, like you could take on any struggle the universe may throw at you and be fine because logan’s by your side, always there to catch you. you read the promise on his lips, and the word forever is unspoken but you both hear it anyway.

taglist: @mystiquesvendetta @raeinyourdreams @babey-fruit-bat @meetmypointlessaddiction @kneelforloki @deaky-with-a-c @hypermarvellove @littlepeanut03 @the-ruler-of-death @aliengutzstuff @misscrissfemmefatale @mynamesstevenwithav @teaganthemorningstar @blackkatzz @leryg0 @fries11 @forksloree @i5uckersblog @dragovegogrimborn @quillycrow @melday0105 @just-a-little-cellist @scorpiosaintt @akasha157-blog @insanesosciopath @eridektbh @trickstergabriel69 @lord-bingus666

[sur-i-ki]

Slipping through my fingers, all the time

13/20

The first time he saw you falter, it was the tremor in your hand that gave you away. You were always so steady, so sure. But that morning, as you reached for your coffee mug, there it was—a small, almost imperceptible shake. He didn’t say anything, only watched as you set the mug down a little too carefully. When he asked if you were feeling all right, you smiled, brushing it off with a laugh that sounded a touch too practiced.

“It’s nothing,” you said, waving him off. “Probably just the weather.”

He believed you, or maybe he let himself believe you because it was easier than facing the alternative.

The park was where he saw it again. It was autumn, the air crisp, the leaves crackling underfoot as the two of you walked side by side. You stumbled—not clumsily, but in a way that didn’t feel like you. When you reached for his arm, your grip was firm, desperate even, as if the earth had shifted beneath your feet.

“Careful,” he said lightly, hoping his voice didn’t betray him.

You laughed, but the sound was thin. “Guess I’m getting old.”

You held onto his arm for the rest of the walk. He didn’t mind. He told himself you just liked being close, but there was a shadow in his chest that refused to lift.

It wasn’t long before the shadow grew roots.

One night, he found you sitting on the bathroom floor, your head buried in your hands. The tremors were worse now, rattling through you like the aftershocks of a distant quake. When he knelt beside you, the look in your eyes hit him harder than any words could have.

“What’s going on?” he asked, his voice low and steady, though inside he felt like he was unraveling.

You didn’t answer at first, just stared at the tiled floor as if it held all the answers you couldn’t give.

Finally, you whispered, “It’s a condition. Degenerative. There’s no cure.”

The weight of those words crushed the air from the room. He felt his chest tighten, his lungs refusing to expand. “How long?”

“Years,” you said, your voice cracking. “But it’s getting worse now.”

It was the first time he truly understood what inevitable meant—not as a word, but as a sentence, as a suffocating truth that could crush bone and marrow alike.

What could he say?

He wrapped his arms around you as you broke down. He'd hold you together.

He learned quickly how to carry the pieces of you that were breaking.

There were schedules to memorize, pills to count, appointments to keep. Some days were harder than others, when the disease clawed at you with its invisible hands, leaving you too exhausted to move. Those days, he would sit by your side, feeding you soup and pretending not to notice how you flinched at the effort it took to swallow.

But there were good days too.

Days when you smiled at him like nothing had changed. You’d sit on the couch together, your head on his shoulder, laughing at something on the television. He memorized those moments, stored them like treasures in the back of his mind. On the bad days, he would dig them out and hold them close, desperate for warmth. These moments were his lifeline.

The first time you forgot his name, it nearly broke him.

He had been reading to you, his voice filling the quiet room, when you suddenly interrupted. “Who are you?” you asked, your voice hesitant, like a child asking a question they weren’t sure they were allowed to ask.

He froze, the words catching in his throat. For a moment, all he could do was stare at you, his heart a stone sinking in his chest.

“It’s me,” he said softly, his voice trembling. He told you his name, reminded you of the life you shared. Slowly, recognition returned to your eyes, but the crack it left in him never healed.

Later that night, when you were asleep, he cried in the living room.

The decline was relentless, each new symptom a thief stealing pieces of you. Your strength, your independence, your voice—one by one, they slipped through his fingers, leaving only memories behind.

One night, as he sat by your bedside, you reached out, your hand frail and trembling. He took it, feeling the coldness of your skin seep into his own.

“Thank you,” you whispered.

“For what?” he asked, his voice rough.

“For staying,” you said, your lips curling into the faintest smile.

He wanted to tell you that leaving had never been an option, that he would have stayed even if the world had been burning around him. But the words wouldn’t come. Instead, he pressed your hand to his lips, letting the silence speak for him.

One night, the both of you sat outside on the balcony, the night wrapping her arms around you, placing you in a cocoon.

"Do you ever think about what comes next?" You ask him softly, resting you head on his shoulder.

He didn't answer right away. He didn't want to.

Finally, he settled on "I try not to."

You smiled up at him, faintly, "Me too,"

The silence rang out in the night.

The day you died, the air felt too still.

He had known it was coming. He had sat with you through every agonizing step, watching as the disease stripped you down to nothing. But when he walked into the room and saw you lying there, so still, so quiet, it was as if the ground had been ripped out from under him.

He didn’t cry at first. He couldn’t. He sat beside you, holding your hand, staring at the empty shell that had once been you. It felt like the air had been stolen from the room, leaving him suffocating in a silence that pressed against his ears like a scream.

Now, he stands in front of your grave, the weight of the world pressing down on him. The headstone is simple, your name etched into the cold, unyielding stone. He traces the letters with his fingers, the roughness of the engraving biting into his skin.

The grief is a living thing, clawing at his chest, filling his throat with sand. The world around him is too bright, too loud, the chirping of birds and rustling of leaves feeling like an insult to your absence.

He kneels, the grass damp beneath his knees, and bows his head. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, his voice breaking. “I couldn’t save you. I… I should have done more. Said more.”

The words are a flood now, spilling from him in a torrent he can’t stop. “I miss you,” he chokes out, his breath hitching. “God, I miss you so much.”

The grief is suffocating, a black hole swallowing him whole. He clutches at the earth, the dampness seeping into his skin, grounding him in the only way he knows how.

For the first time since you left, he lets himself feel the full weight of it—the loss, the anger, the love. He breaks, the sobs wracking his body, shaking him to his core.

And as the sun sets, casting long shadows across the cemetery, he stays there, the weight of your absence pressing down on him like the weight of the sky.

⇝ 𝘓𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘴, 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥! 𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘣𝘶𝘵𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘮𝘪𝘴��𝘪𝘰𝘯

[saintavangeline]

How wonderful it is to live in a new body free and unblemished from their filth

TW ED talk: I haven't really opened up too much about this. Idk how many people can relate from an ED standpoint, but I'm in recovery. It is very difficult for me to associate myself with my past self and weight bc I see that person and I see a girl who took pain and abuse from others and was severely controlled. All of the suffering I endured from so many people and parts of my life all happened before I lost a significant amount of weight. ED's are apparently very common to develop during and after enduring abuse. In a sort of fucked up way, I felt reborn, like a new person, untouched by all of those people. I am very much still triggered by certain aspects of eating and weight gain because I'm terrified of going back to who I was, even though rationally I know that my body has nothing to do with it and there was nothing wrong with it. Eating disorders and body dysmorphia are fucking terrifying because you can look in the mirror and see a reflection of who you used to be and immediately it can trigger memories and that feeling of a loss of control. I'm at a point right now where I'm really learning to love who I am outside of how my body looks at any given time, but I do know that something like this can be a lifelong battle. Maybe this is all TMI, and for that I'm sorry, I just wanted to share where I am with it. I am happier than ever, healthy, and surrounded by people who love me, and I'm so grateful to finally be in a place of stability.

[z0mb1epuzzy]

okok so i just found your blog and lemme tell you ive been eating it UPPP

how would you feel abt josh or maybe chris? (rlly any of the men tbh) with a s/o who has nipple piercings?

i feel like josh would be sooo into it when he found out/when you first got them done. he wouldve def been so so so supportive if you wanted to get them done during the relationship. hed love the sensitivity after theyve finally healed, lowkey would sit there admiring them for a hot while just looking and fiddling with them(i headcannon josh as a tits/thighs man gonna be honest)

more smutty imagine, his s/o is bouncing on his lap, and your tits are just so perfect, and he just cant resist himself anymore, hes gotta know how they feel on his tongue. he takes one of your nipples in his mouth and just rolls his tongue over the piercing, mapping out the feel with his tongue carefully. hed be so content i fear.

chris would be shy about it, like, "oh wow, those mustve hurt pretty bad, huh?", not drawing too much attention to it at first, but eventually, maybe youre sat on his lap, grinding your hips against his, youre both sensitive and heated, panting, and chris has been admiring the way the balls of the peircing really perk up your nipple, and after a particularly rough stroke of your hips against his clothed hard-on, his large hands grip your hips or ass, digging into the flesh and he leans down, taking your nipple between his lips in an attempt to cover his loud whimper. after all, with you riding his hips, youre just elevated enough where your tits are right there, at a conveniently perfect level to his mouth.

someone save me my goddd 🙀

anon thank you for leaving this wonderful little gift in my inbox holy shit

warning 4 this one! afab reader potentially implied!??

josh:

i totally agree that josh is a tits man, but honestly - he just loves any curves… ass? tits? thighs?? and they’re not on his face rn?? 🤨

he’d totally love nipple piercings… man’s a FREAAK!! first time he sees them he’s like 🧿🧿.. absolutely baffled!??! during intimacy he’d love them too, teasing them with his lips or fingers just to hear you whine and shudder like hello!?!😵‍💫

also to elaborate on your thought… he’d definitely give them some special attention if you’re riding him, i mean… they’re LITERALLY right there.. and he’s a strong man, but not that strong… it would definitely satisfy that little part of his brain that wants to analyze and commit all of your little reactions to memory… running his thumbs over them, maybe a lil pinch, kisses, sucking on them, y’know.. the works. he wants to know what makes you moan for him the most!!

as for chris… oh boy..

he’s a lot more flustered by them, AND more hesitant to mess with them.. his eyes getting all wide when he sees them for the first time..like? BAFFLED.. “oh, wow… uh.. man, did those hurt?” and like.. obviously yeah, so he’s a little scared to fuck with them? BUT once he knows they’re healed and in fact don’t hurt anymore… oh lord!!!

he loves having you in his lap CANON! his face getting all flushed while you grind down on him, him touching ur piercings just to hopefully mess you up like you’re doing to him… he’s sensitive!! he doesn’t wanna cum first :( and ur tits look so pretty with the bars through them, making ur nipples look extra perked up, ?!yknow!?

chris def has a secret oral fixation.. i have no reason or explanation… my brain is saying its true so i’m sharing it with the masses!!! he needs to he doing something with his mouth, especially when he’s close 😵‍💫 so he’d love to wrap his lips around your nipples just to hear you whine for him like… UGHH!!

i hope i fulfilled your expectations anon!! praying this is good or else….. (idk nothing will happen i’m just dramatic)

another note, i typed this shit like 3 days ago and it went to DRAFTS. INSTEAD OF POSTING.

thx bbg @ghouleaterr 4 giving me motivation once again…

[tailsbeth-writes]

Welcome to the RWRB Festive Fan Fest! A chilled fan creation event based around winter holiday prompts.

The event will last 12 days and be a mixture of prompts and appreciation days so there's something for everyone in the fandom. Use these prompts to create fanfic, art, playlists, whatever your heart desires and celebrate RWRB (book & movie). You can do as many or as few prompts as you like!

The event will start on December 13th and run through to Christmas Eve (24th).

✨: Appreciation days

🎁: Creation days

The prompts are as follows:

✨ 13th: Favourite holiday fic/creation

🎁 14th: Decorations

🎁 15th: Christmas song

✨ 16th: Favourites from the past year

🎁 17th: Food

🎁 18th: Snow day

🎁 19th: Childhood memories

✨ 20th: Favourites of your own - time for self love!

🎁 21st: Cosy

🎁 22nd: Gifts

🎁 23rd: Party

✨ 24th: Favourite creators

For those of you who are on Ao3, I will share a collection close to the time. And when posting your entries here (or anything about the event in general) use the tag #rwrbfff please. Means if folks would like a beta etc, they can just look in the tag & I'll reblog where I can as well as reblogging all your fabulous content when the time comes!

I've got some ideas cooking for this already & I'm so excited to see what everyone comes up with to celebrate this fandom and our fave idiots in love.

Any other questions? Asks are open or DM me. Please spread the word & I'll pop up reminders on the run up. Happy creating!

Taylor (she/him) 🎄

❤️🤍👑💙

[arcane-ish]

I feel like the negative judgements about Vi's intelligence are heavily tied into:

1.) People only respecting two kinds of intelligence, either inventing (like Jayce, Viktor, Jinx and Ekko) or scheming (like Mel and Silco). Which is an incredibly reductive view on intelligence.

2.) People being upset that Vi doesn't do what they want her to do. I think there are a lot of people on various sides who consumed Arcane as a media and wanted Vi to become leader of the underground or become head of the Firelights for example. They have a certain view on the Zaun versus Piltover conflict and might lean towards thinking it is dumb of Vi not to share their analysis of the situation.

And that I just disagree with. It's not that Vi is too dumb to become leader of Underground, it's that she genuinely isn't interested. It's possible that she doesn't "understand" the complexities of power relationships between Piltover and Zaun (we can't see into her head), but maybe she just generally has a different moral outlook on life. (whether it is "prioritizing your family and loved ones over larger society is a good idea" or "all people have value and are a mixture between good and bad, regardless where they come from").

People, especially in certain online spaces act like these are "solved" problems (ie "well obviously thinking systemically is superior" and "well, obviously, people who are part of an oppressing system should be treated differently"), when in reality for a lot of people they aren't. And they aren't because those people are too dumb to understand the "correct" choice, they just have different values.

"I prioritize my immediate surroundings" could genuinely be for "I'm overwhelmed and scared by complex systems and withdraw towards simple things I understand" or it could for example be deeply cynical "I have a pessimistic outlook on what effect my contribution will have on a systemic level and/or I have made the experience that people who go on about the systemic level don't achieve anything or make the lived reality of people worse".

For Vi specifically I think the show does portray her as somebody straight laced and stubborn (but not incapable of adapting her world view). And somebody who generally has very good instincts about people or who heavily relies on her instincts on people.

IMO in season 2 we have seen Vi do her cop-like tracking of people twice. First at the memorial attack where she spotted the the chem goon and quickly understood the situation and who was involved in the attack. (even her fighting style against stronger opponents like the chem goons shows a complexity about finding weak points, like tearing off the chem baron's valve) Second when she tracks Singed. (and I would argue we have also seen her be suspicious of Ambessa after the Memorial Attack)

And her being willing to change her mind on disliking/distrusting Jinx and letting Jinx's words lead her to change her mind on seeing Warwick as a threat again is an example imo both on her trusting her instincts but also adapting. Vi's judgments about people isn't just "I see or smell you and I make my judgement", imo she watches people and adapts her judgement accordingly. IMO she adapated her judgement of Jinx because she saw how Jinx interacted with Isha. Just like she was initially suspicious of Caitlyn, but opened up to her when she saw how Caitlyn acted in a variety of situations.

IMO the idea that Vi has good instincts on characters isn't very pleasant, because she makes value judgements about people (such as she likes Caitlyn, but she does not like Silco) that might not match everybody's preference. Again, some people might want to turn this into a question of intelligence. Such as thinking Vi is "dumb" of liking Caitlyn more than Silco, when to them clearly Caitlyn is more immoral than Silco because she is part of an oppressive system or because Silco is more honest or more powerful or more smart. Rather than "year, but what if Vi has just has different priorities or a different value system". (like "will this person attack me" or "will this person be nice to me" or "will this person betray me" or "will this person be open to reason" or "does this person have straight laced goals")

When I look at season 1, Act 2 and 3, I see Vi as somebody with a clear goal (find and retrieve Powder). She has her goal, she identifies what she perceives to be threats to this goal (Silco), she is aware she is not strong enough to bring him down on her own, she identifies Shimmer as a source of his power, she makes allies and then attacks what she sees at the source of his power.

Vi has her goals and she has her tools and strategies (ie find allies, get more firepower, attack). [another good example being when during the Memorial Attack, Vi withdraws to retrieve the Hextech Hammer, because her analysis of the situation is that without it the fight might not be winnable]

Again, people might be looking at Vi's process and disagree on various steps (what she identifies as a threat, why she chooses one method and not another (ie choose violence rather than negotiation or subterfuge)), but imo it's pretty clear that Vi has multi step approaches and her choosing one methods might just be a question of personal preference.

one of the saddest things to me abt vi that i haven’t rly seen anyone talk abt is the fact that she never rly got the ability or privilege of learning how to do much else other than to be mainly good at fighting.

she’s learned that fighting is how you protect yourself and others, and protection is how you show love.

not to mention, she ended up getting unfairly sent to stillwater for years, and if caitlyn hadn’t broken her out, it would have most likely been forever.

she’s just never rly had the time to learn smth else to excel at.

[nameless-ken]

Bucky Barnes x Reader - Part Five

Word count: 9.5k (this is a long one)

Warnings: angst, PTSD, mentions of a car crash, death, mentions of death, fluff too because I have to add lightheartedness with angst

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four |

Masterlist

The apartment is quiet except for the soft hum of the heater. Alpine lay curled up on Bucky’s lap, her purring the only sound in the room. Bucky stares blankly at the darkened window, his thoughts tangling. His metal fingers idly stroke Alpine’s fur, the sensation grounding him, even if his mind refuses to settle.

He thought of Y/N—her laugh, the warmth in her eyes, the way she makes Elizabeth light up with joy. The past few weeks have been something he hasn’t dared hope for in years: peaceful. But even as he replays those moments in his mind, doubt gnaws at him. Does he really deserve this kind of happiness? Could someone like him—damaged, haunted—be what Y/N needs?

Alpine stretches, her tail flicking against his hand, pulling him from his spiral. He sighs heavily. His phone buzzes on the table, and he leans over to check the notification.

"Steve: Let's meet up at Sam's tomorrow. Something’s come up. We need to talk."

Bucky’s stomach sinks. He sets the phone back down, dreading whatever Steve has to share. It’s always something, isn’t it? His past never lets him rest.

Alpine meows softly, sensing his unease, and nuzzles his hand. He scratches behind her ears absentmindedly before reaching for the notebook resting on the coffee table. The worn cover feels familiar in his hands, a tether to his scattered thoughts.

He flips past pages filled with his looping handwriting—fragments of memory, observations, and the occasional attempt at poetry. He finds a blank page and pauses, the pen hovering above it as if unsure where to start. Finally, he starts:

Am I even capable of being what someone else needs? Or am I just pretending I can be normal, that I can leave it all behind?

The words hang on the page, stark and accusing. His jaw tightens as he continues.

Y/N deserves someone whole, someone who can give her everything without hesitating. And I… I hesitate. I second-guess every good thing because I don’t believe I’m allowed to have it. But then she smiles, and for a moment, I think… maybe. Maybe it’s okay to try. But is trying enough? I put up a front around her. I suppress my struggles around everyone as to appear normal. 

He stops, pressing the pen harder into the paper than he meant to. The letters blur as his vision clouds, memories of cold steel restraints and harsh voices pressing in.

Alpine shifts on his lap, her weight reminding him where he is. He exhales shakily and sets the notebook aside, rubbing a hand down his face.

Whatever Steve and Sam are coming to talk about, he already knows it will dredge up parts of his past he’d rather forget. And if those parts ever reach Y/N, what then? Would she stay? Or would she look at him the way so many have before—like a problem to fix, or worse, like something broken beyond repair?

He’s been too afraid to let her see his metal arm. It’s more than just the limb—it’s the weight of the memories it carries, the pain it represents. He’s ashamed of it, of what it reminds him of every time he looks at it. The thought of her seeing it, of her being hurt or repulsed by the cold, unfeeling steel, terrifies him. What if she sees the arm and, in it, sees the broken man it belongs to?

He stands, Alpine hopping off his lap with a soft protest. Walking to the window, he stares out at the city below, the faint glow of streetlights shimmering against the glass. His reflection stares back at him—tired, burdened, and unsure.

His phone buzzes again, another notification lighting up the darkened room. This time, it’s a message from Y/N:

"Just thinking about you. Hope you’re doing okay."

The tightness in his chest loosens just slightly. He doesn’t reply right away, instead resting his forehead against the cool glass. The heater hums on, Alpine’s purring resuming as she curls back into her spot.

For now, at least, the world feels a little less heavy.

The next morning, Bucky shows up at your apartment, your usual bright smile faltering when you see the dark circles under Bucky’s eyes.

“You okay?” you ask softly, your hand brushing against his arm. He flinches slightly but covers it up with a tight smile.

“Didn’t sleep great,” he mutters.

You tilt your head, unconvinced. “Would you like to come in for coffee or to the usual cafe?”

Bucky hesitates, his eyes flicking between you and the open door behind you. The warmth in your voice and the gentle concern in your eyes make his chest ache in a way he can’t explain. He shouldn’t have come here, not like this. Not when his mind is a storm he hasn’t figured out how to weather.

“Coffee sounds good,” he finally says, his voice quiet. “Here is fine.”

You smile softly, stepping aside to let him in. “Make yourself comfortable. I’ll get the coffee started.”

As you move to the kitchen, Bucky takes a seat on your couch, his gaze drifting around, admiring all the details–cozy, filled with small, personal touches that feel so distinctly you. There’s a stack of books on the coffee table, a big blue fluffy blanket draped over the arm of the couch, and a framed photo of you and two little boys sitting on a shelf. His heart clenches at the sight of it.

You hum softly as you prepare the coffee, a light tune that drifts into the living room. It’s a sound that, despite himself, Bucky finds calming. He rests his elbows on his knees, staring down at his hands—the metal one covered with his usual leather glove, rests heavily against his thigh.

When you return with two mugs in hand, you pause, taking in the way his shoulders are hunched and the faraway look in his eyes. Setting the mugs down on the table, you sit beside him, close but not too close.

“Hey,” you say gently, drawing his attention back to you. “Whatever it is, you can talk to me.”

Bucky exhales slowly, running a hand through his hair. “It’s nothing,” he lies, his voice strained. “Just...Steve and Sam want to talk. Probably something from my past catching up to me again.”

Your brow furrows with concern. “Do you want me to be there for support?”

His eyes widen slightly, and he shakes his head quickly. “No. No, it’s not...you don’t need to be involved in that.”

“Okay,” you say softly, not wanting to push him. “But if there’s ever anything you need, I’m here. You know that, right?”

He nods, swallowing hard. The sincerity in your voice makes his chest tighten. For a moment, he considers telling you everything—his fears, his doubts, his nightmares. But the words don’t come. Instead, he manages a small, grateful smile.

“I know,” he says quietly. “Thank you.”

The two of you sit in a comfortable silence for a while, sipping coffee. Your presence is steady, unwavering, and though Bucky doesn’t say it, it’s exactly what he needs. Your quiet understanding wraps around him like a safety net, catching the parts of him that feel like they’re constantly slipping through the cracks.

Eventually, he glances at the clock on the wall and sighs. He places his mug down on the table, the scrape of ceramic on wood making you glance up.

“I should get going,” he says, his voice low but steady.

You frown, clearly not wanting him to leave just yet. “Are you sure? You could stay a little longer.”

He shakes his head, standing and running a hand through his hair. “Steve and Sam are waiting. Whatever it is, it’s better to just deal with it sooner than later.”

You stand, too, following him to the door. Your fingers brush his as you hand him his jacket, and he tenses slightly but doesn’t pull away.

“Bucky,” you say softly, your voice drawing his gaze to yours. “Whatever it is, you’ll get through it. And if you need me, I’m just a call away.”

He holds your gaze for a moment, his blue eyes searching yours, his expression unreadable. His attention flickers briefly to your lips before a faint smile tugs at the corner of his mouth—small, hesitant, but real.

“Thanks,” he murmurs, his voice low as he shrugs on his jacket. He pauses, a flicker of indecision crossing his face, and then leans in, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek. The warmth of his lips and the roughness of his stubble send a soft flutter through you.

The gesture is fleeting, almost shy, but it leaves you both standing still for a beat longer than usual.

"I'll call you later." Bucky assures you.

You recover first, smiling warmly. “You better,” you say, your tone light yet reassuring.

His smile lingers for just a moment before he steps out the door. As Bucky steps back out into the chilly, morning air, he exhales a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. The weight in his chest is still there, but somehow, it feels just a little easier to carry. He adjusts his jacket and starts toward Sam’s apartment.

With every step, the quiet doubts whisper at the back of his mind. The fear of what Steve and Sam might bring, the worry of dragging his past into his present. But he forces himself to keep moving.

If there’s one thing he’s learned over the years, it’s that facing the ghosts of his past is the only way to keep them from haunting his future.

As Bucky enters Sam's apartment, Steve meets him halfway into the living room.

“We don’t have all the details yet, but we’ve been hearing rumors. Someone's digging into your past, asking questions about your arm—your history. Could be anyone, but it’s enough to raise a red flag.” Steve informs as Bucky stands, fists clenching at his side. 

His mind races, memories of his past flickering in and out of focus—things he's tried to forget, buried under layers of time and effort.

“What kind of questions?” Bucky’s voice comes out rough, as though it was a struggle to ask, to even speak of it again.

Sam shoots him a glance, his face serious. “Nothing too specific yet, but enough to make it clear someone’s poking around. Doesn’t take much to stir up old ghosts.”

Bucky’s fingers flex at his side, his metal arm feeling heavier than usual. He hates it, hates what it reminds him of. Every inch of him screams to keep it hidden, bury it, away from the world. But now, it seems like the past was coming back for him.

He exhales slowly, his mind clouded with the familiar weight of dread. “I thought I left that part of me behind. Thought I buried it deep enough that it couldn’t find me again.”

Steve’s gaze softens, his expression unwavering. He steps closer, resting a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “You don’t have to face this alone. We’re here, Bucky. You know that. We’ll figure it out. We always do.”

Sam nods, his face stoic but with a hint of reassurance. “Yeah. We’ve got your back. Whatever’s coming, we’ll handle it together.”

Bucky swallows hard, the knot in his chest tightening. He wants to believe them, but the past has a way of slipping through cracks, creeping back into his life when he least expects it. He isn’t sure he’s ready for whatever is waiting for him.

For a moment, he stands in silence, his eyes distant. Then he nods, his voice hoarse. “Alright. Let’s figure out what we’re up against.”

Steve gives him a firm, reassuring squeeze on the shoulder before turning toward the door. “We’ll take it one step at a time, Buck. Just keep your head up. And if things get too heavy, don’t hesitate to reach out. You know we’re here.”

With one last glance at Sam, Bucky turns and makes his way out of the apartment, the weight of uncertainty pressing down on him. But this time, he isn’t alone. And maybe that’s enough to face whatever is coming next.

The next day, Bucky and Elizabeth arrive at your apartment after school. Elizabeth is her usual excited self, bouncing around with a big grin on her face as she talks non-stop about her day. She runs inside, unaware of the tension hanging in the air, but Bucky is different. He’s quieter than usual, his expression distant. You notice it immediately, the way his shoulders are tense, his eyes too focused on something only he can see.

After a moment, Elizabeth disappears into your guest room, dumping out her backpack with some toys to play with. You turn your attention to Bucky. 

“Bucky,” you say softly, voice filled with concern. “How are you today? Is something bothering you?”  

He hesitates, his eyes flicking toward the door before settling on you. There’s a long pause before he speaks, and when he does, his voice is low, tight.

“It’s nothing,” he mutters, but you can hear the strain. “Just some old stuff coming back to bite me.”

You cross your arms, frustration bubbling up but not wanting to push him to talk. You can see through him, the walls he’s built up. “You don’t have to do this alone, you know. I do care about you, and I want to help. But I can’t if you don’t let me in.”

Bucky glances at you, his jaw tight. For a moment, you think he’s going to say something, but then he just shakes his head. “It’s not that simple. You don’t know what it’s like to carry this around—to always be waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

“Then tell me,” you urge. “Let me in.”

Before he can respond, a loud crash suddenly cuts through the air. Your heart stops as the sound of shattering glass echoes from your guest room. You don’t even think; just spring into action, rushing toward the room with Bucky right behind.

You reach the doorway to the room at the same time. Elizabeth is huddled in the corner, her eyes wide with terror, staring at the broken window. A dark figure is retreating into the night, disappearing into the shadows before either of you can get a good look at them.

Bucky’s entire body goes rigid, his metal arm clenching instinctively. You see the shift in him—the moment his protective instincts take over. His jaw tightens as he looks at you, his expression hardening.

“Stay here,” he demands, his voice sharp, commanding. “Call Steve.”

You nod quickly, fear coiling in your stomach. You pull out your phone, dialing Steve’s number with trembling hands. As you wait for the call to connect, you look down at Elizabeth, her small form trembling in your arms. You whisper soothing words, but your own heart is racing, your thoughts scrambling to keep up with what just happened. You move with Elizabeth out of the guest room and into the living room, sitting on the couch with her curled up in your lap. 

“Shh, you’re safe,” you whisper softly, holding her tightly. “Bucky’s going to handle it. It’s going to be okay.”

Elizabeth doesn’t say anything, but she nods against you with tears streaming down her soft cheeks, the quiet terror in her face tears at you. You wish you could tell her everything’s fine, but you don’t know what’s coming next.

The phone rings once, twice, before Steve picks up. “Y/N? Everything okay? How are you?”

“Someone broke into my apartment,” you explain, your voice shaky. “Elizabeth and Bucky are here and everyone is okay, but they... they broke into my guest room window, and—Bucky’s after them.”

“Is Elizabeth alright?” Steve cuts in, his voice sharp with concern.

“She’s scared, but she’s fine, I have her with me” you say, trying to keep your voice steady. “They ran off, but Bucky’s going after them. Please—hurry over. I am texting you my address.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll be there soon. Stay inside, don’t open the door for anyone else.”

You hang up, letting the phone fall beside you as you continue to hold Elizabeth. Her grip tightens around you as she presses closer, seeking comfort from the warmth of your embrace. You gently stroke her hair, murmuring soft reassurances.

“It’s going to be okay, sweetie,” you whisper again, though your own heart is far from calm. “Uncle Bucky and your dad will take care of this.”

But even as you speak the words, doubt creeps in. The broken window is a sign that things aren’t as simple as they seem. Whoever did this isn’t going to stop with a broken window. You shiver, the weight of the situation settling over you.

Just then, the sound of hurried footsteps reaches your ears. You look up to see Steve and Sam entering the apartment, their expressions grim. Without a word, they take in the situation—the broken window, the tension in the air, the terrified look on Elizabeth’s face. Steve moves toward the two of you, his eyes softening as he kneels down to Elizabeth’s level.

“Hey bub,” Steve says, offering her a warm smile despite the tension. “You doing okay?”

Elizabeth nods slowly, though her face is still pale. Steve wipes at the wetness on her cheeks, leaning in and pressing a kiss to her head. 

“We’ll take it from here,” he says. “Stay with her, Y/N. We’ll figure this out.”

Sam, already on his phone, glances at you once more. “We’ll handle it. Bucky’s not alone.”

The door clicks closed behind them, leaving you and Elizabeth in the quiet aftermath. You’re left with a sinking feeling in your stomach, knowing the fight’s not over yet—and whatever just happened, it’s only the beginning.

You glance toward the guest room—the broken window still gaping, the evidence of the intruder’s presence stark against the fading daylight. It’s a reminder that this wasn’t just some random occurrence. Someone deliberately targeted your home, your safe space. Whoever they were, they were watching.

Bucky’s protective instincts kicked in the moment the glass shattered. You know he’ll do whatever it takes to protect those he cares about. But still, there's a part of you that’s scared. Scared for Elizabeth. Scared for Bucky. Scared for what might be coming next.

You shake the thoughts from your head, focusing instead on Elizabeth. You need to stay calm for her. She needs you to be strong, even if you're falling apart inside.

After what feels like an eternity, you hear the soft click of the front door, and then the unmistakable sound of Bucky’s voice calling your name.

“Y/N?”

You jump to your feet, still holding Elizabeth tightly in your arms. She stirs at the sound of his voice, lifting her head to look around. You meet Bucky’s eyes as he enters the room, his face drawn with concern. His clothes are slightly rumpled, his expression more exhausted than angry, but you can see the relief in his eyes as he looks at you and Elizabeth.

“Is she okay?” he asks, his voice soft but laced with tension.

You nod, holding Elizabeth a little tighter. “She’s shaken, but she’s alright. You... you found them?”

Bucky exhales slowly, his gaze flicking briefly toward the broken window showing through the guest room door frame. His body language is guarded, but there’s a faint flicker of frustration in his eyes. “Yeah. They were long gone by the time I got out there. But I... I think they were watching. They knew exactly where to hit.”

You can hear the unease in his voice, the weight of his words sinking in. It wasn’t a random break-in. Whoever did this had a purpose.

Elizabeth shifts in your arms, her eyes flicking between the two of you. “Uncle Bucky,” she says quietly, her voice small, “is it... is it safe now?”

Bucky kneels in front of her, his metal hand resting gently on her shoulder. His expression softens as he meets her eyes. “Yeah, bee,” he says, his voice soothing. “It’s safe now. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

Elizabeth nods, but her face is still pale, her lips trembling just slightly. You can tell she’s trying to be brave, but the fear is still there, lurking beneath the surface.

“Let’s get going. We’ll stay at Steve’s for the night. It’s the safest place right now.” Bucky responds. “Pack anything you need but do it fast.” 

You nod, handing him Elizabeth as you rush to pack a bag, grabbing the essentials and closing the guest room door, not wanting to look at the damage right now. 

“Let’s go,” you say, voice steady despite the storm of emotions swirling inside you.

Bucky nods, he doesn’t look back as he ushers you both toward the door.

The drive to Steve’s house is a blur. The car is filled with an eerie silence, each of you lost in your own thoughts. Elizabeth has her head resting against your shoulder as you sit beside her in the back seat, not wanting to leave her alone, her small body still trembling as she tries to hold it together. Every so often, you feel her fingers tighten around your hand, as if reminding herself you’re there, that she’s not alone.

Bucky drives with tense precision, his eyes scanning the rearview mirror every few seconds, always alert, always on edge. The streets blur as he takes you through the city, toward the familiarity of Steve’s home. 

When you finally pull up to Steve’s house, the security gates open almost immediately, and you’re ushered inside with a sense of relief, as though the weight of the world has been momentarily lifted off your shoulders. Bucky parks the car in the garage, and you help Elizabeth out, her small hand still clutching yours.

Inside, the house feels different from the night of the Friendsgiving. Steve is waiting in the foyer when you enter, his face lighting up when he sees Elizabeth. His usual warmth is tempered with concern, though, his eyes flicking over to Bucky for confirmation.

“You’re safe now.” Steve reassures, his voice low, eyes darting to Elizabeth’s tight grip on your hand.

You nod quickly, trying to keep your composure. “Thank you, for letting me stay over.”

“Of course. A friend of Bucky’s is now a friend of ours.” Steve gives you a small smile, trying to ease the night. 

Steve crouches down to Elizabeth’s level, opening his arms for her to fall into. She immediately wraps her arms around his neck. “Daddy’s got you. Let’s get you ready for bed bub.” 

“Oh, my darling,” You all glance up at Peggy’s voice. She appears at the top of the stairs as Steve carries Elizabeth up to her room. 

You watch in silence as the family reunite, coddling their daughter, making her feel safe. 

Bucky’s gaze softens at you, eyes meeting yours across the foyer. He doesn’t need to ask. It’s written on your face—the exhaustion, the concern, the fear still lurking beneath your calm exterior.

Bucky’s steps are quiet as he approaches, his expression steady but filled with empathy. "You’re safe here," he promises, grabbing your hand, squeezing it softly. "Take a breath. Let me make you a drink."

You nod, grateful for the offer but too tired to speak. You follow behind as he leads the way towards the kitchen. The sound of the fridge opening and the soft clink of glass are the only sounds that fill the space, an unfamiliar comfort in the quiet after the chaos.

The house feels warm and welcoming, but there’s a lingering tension in the air. The kind that stays even when everything is supposed to be alright. You can’t shake the feeling that whoever did this isn’t done. They know where you are now.

A soft cough pulls you from your thoughts, and you turn to find Steve standing a few feet away, his posture rigid but there's a softness in his expression now, a layer of concern beneath the usual stoic demeanor. “You alright?” Steve asks, his voice quiet but carrying the weight of everything that’s happened tonight.

You take a deep breath, trying to find some semblance of control. "Just… processing," you say, the words coming out more rigid than you intended. "It’s just been a lot."

Steve nods, his gaze flicking over to where Bucky is gripping the counter top, his back tense facing you both.

“If you need anything… I mean, anything... you can stay here as long as you need. You are no longer just Elizabeth’s teacher. Anyone important to Bucky, is important to all of us. Bucky’s right, you’re safe. And we’re not going to let anything happen to anyone."

The words hit harder than you expect, a promise laced with sincerity and a little bit of pain—he means it, and it’s almost overwhelming to hear.

"Thank you," you whisper, barely able to keep the emotion in check. "I really appreciate everything."

As Steve turns to leave you and Bucky alone in the kitchen, you feel the weight of the situation sink back in.

Bucky sets the glass in front of you, his touch deliberate as he slides it across the counter. “It’s nothing fancy, but it’ll help.”

You don’t hesitate to take the drink, grateful for the gesture even if you’re not sure how much it will ease the tightness in your chest. The liquid is warm and slightly burns as it slides down your throat, but it doesn't take away the gnawing sense of unease.

Bucky stands beside you, his posture still tense, but there’s something softer in the way he watches you—his usual hardened exterior momentarily set aside.

"I know it's not much," he says, voice low, "but I won’t let anything happen to you. I’m sorry for bringing all this into your life. I know you didn’t ask for any of this. I guess this is why I was trying not to get too close.” 

You nod slowly, the weight of his words not lost on you. Bucky’s been through his own hell, and yet, here he is—still standing guard, still offering whatever help he can. It’s comforting in its own way, but it also reminds you how much is at stake.

You take a slow, steady breath, your fingers lightly tracing the edge of your glass as you absorb Bucky’s words. “You don’t have to apologize,” you say quietly, your voice hoarse but determined. “None of this is your fault. Just because something happened in your past, it doesn’t define your present.”

Bucky doesn’t respond right away, his gaze softening, a mixture of relief and something else flickering behind his eyes.

The quiet is interrupted by the sound of footsteps approaching. You turn, and there’s Peggy, standing at the doorway to the kitchen. She’s dressed comfortably, her hair pulled back into a loose ponytail, but her eyes are sharp, a knowing look crossing her face as she observes the situation.

“Everything alright?” Peggy asks, her voice warm but carrying an undertone of concern. She glances between you and Bucky, her eyes narrowing slightly as she takes in the scene.

“Yeah,” you reply quickly, though the exhaustion in your voice is impossible to hide. “Just… a long night.”

Peggy’s gaze softens immediately, her expression shifting into one of empathy. She steps fully into the kitchen, crossing the floor to stand beside you. “I’m just glad everyone is safe. Steve filled me in on the situation, but if you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.”

Her attention then shifts to Bucky, her eyes lingering on him for a moment before she speaks again. “There is only one guest room, but the couch is available too. Whatever you both prefer.”

Bucky’s lips twitch, the faintest hint of humor in his eyes as he responds, “I’ll take the couch, thanks.”

You glance at Bucky, a small sigh escaping you. "That's ridiculous," you say, your voice softer but firm. "You’ve done enough. We’ve already been through enough tonight. It’s okay… It’ll be easier if we’re together. I’ll feel safer, at ease, knowing you're there."

Bucky looks at you for a long moment, his jaw tightening slightly, as if weighing the offer. His expression is unreadable, but you can see the hesitation in his eyes.

Finally, he exhales, the tension easing from his shoulders as he nods. “Alright. If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure,” you affirm with a small, tired smile.

Peggy, who’s been quietly observing, smiles warmly at both of you. “Well, if you’re sure, then I’ll let you two get settled in. Have a good night. See you in the morning.”

As Peggy disappears out of the kitchen, Bucky turns to you, his gaze lingering for a moment before he steps closer. “I’ll keep you safe,” he promises again, his voice low and steady. It’s not the first time he’s said it, but this time, there’s a quiet certainty in his words.

You give him a small nod. “I know.”

Together, you make your way upstairs, the weight of the night still heavy but exhaustion taking over. Bucky leads the way into the room, his presence comforting despite the lingering shadows of fear. You can hear the soft hum of the house around you, the familiar sounds of Steve and Peggy moving a few doors down, here, in this quiet room, it feels like a moment of calm before the storm.

As Bucky takes off his jacket and shoes, you slip into the adjoined bathroom, changing into your pajamas, the soft fabric comforting against your tired skin. When you exit and glance over at Bucky, you see him standing still for a moment, his hand resting on the edge of the dresser, his posture rigid as though he's preparing himself for something.

You don’t want to make him feel uncomfortable, but something about this moment feels more intimate than anything before. The thought that you’ve never seen Bucky’s metal arm, that piece of him he's always kept hidden, lingers in your mind. You watch him as he slowly pulls off his shirt, revealing the metal arm for the first time.

The sight takes you by surprise. It’s beautiful in its own way—sleek and strong—but there’s a quiet sadness in his eyes as he turns towards you, the weight of his past unmistakable.

Bucky catches your gaze, his expression tight. “I’m not… I’m not sure what you’re thinking,” he says softly, his voice steady but full of uncertainty. He reaches up, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. “It’s not… it’s not who I am. But it’s all that was left after… the people who took me, who… did this.”

You don’t speak immediately, your gaze softening as you look at him, trying to convey everything you feel without words. You want to reassure him, but you're not sure how.

“It…it was blown off in battle," he continues, his voice distant, as though he’s reliving the moment. "The people who… kidnapped me—they gave me this. And they experimented on me. It’s not just the arm. But sometimes, this thing... It scares me. I don’t want you to be afraid of it, of me.”

His voice falters toward the end, and you can see the vulnerability in his eyes—vulnerability that he doesn’t let others see, but it’s here now, with you. He sits down on the bed, resting against the pillows. You crawl onto the bed beside him, feeling a pull to make him feel safe, just as he’s always made you feel.

“You don’t have to hide it from me, Bucky,” you say softly, scooting closer. “I’m not afraid of you. I know you wouldn’t hurt me.”

Bucky exhales sharply, and for a moment, he looks away, his gaze conflicted. He sits there, motionless, before he finally looks back at you. “I’m sorry,” he mutters under his breath. “For all of this. I never meant to drag you into it.”

You feel a pang in your chest, seeing how deeply he feels this guilt. You reach out, placing your hand gently on his left arm, the cold, metal surface unfamiliar but comforting in its own way.

“You didn’t drag me into anything, Bucky,” you say, your voice steady, as you take his metal hand in yours and place it over your waist. “I’m here because I want to be. I’m here because I care about you.”

Bucky hesitates, his eyes darting from your face to his arm resting on your waist, unsure. It’s almost as if he’s afraid of pulling you closer, of touching you in a way that might break this fragile connection you’ve started to form.

But you know what you need, what you both need. You shift on the bed so that your body is pressed closer against his, and gently guide his arm to rest more over you. You close your eyes for a moment, willing him to let go of his hesitation.

“I know you won’t hurt me,” you whisper again, your voice calm, knowing what you’re asking him to do is not easy. “Please, just hold me. It’s okay.”

Bucky stares at you for a moment longer, and then, with a soft breath, he lays his arm down fully, pulling you into his chest. He wraps his left arm around you carefully, his metal hand resting against your back in a comforting, steady hold.

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, his voice thick with emotion. “You deserve better than this.”

You shake your head gently, pressing your cheek against his chest. “Stop apologizing,” you say, your voice firm but tender. “I’m here to stay, Bucky. You don’t have to carry this on your own anymore. And you won’t lose me. I’m not going anywhere.”

Bucky’s breath catches slightly, and he pulls you a little closer, as though trying to make the words you’ve said real in the way he holds you. His heart beats steadily against your ear, and you can feel the weight of everything he’s been through, all the pain he carries—but it’s nothing you can’t bear.

“I’m grateful for every Friday afternoon you’ve picked Elizabeth up at school. So grateful we met each other.” you whisper, your words muffled against his chest. “For all the moments we’ve shared, no matter how small they seem. They’ve meant the world to me.”

Bucky’s heart seems to beat a little faster, his grip tightening around you, as though he’s afraid you might slip away if he doesn’t hold on just a little tighter.

Before you can say anything else, Bucky lifts your chin gently with his metal hand, his expression soft and full of longing. His lips find yours in a kiss that starts tender but deepens as the moment pulls you both in, the weight of everything you’ve just shared passing between you in a breathless, passionate kiss.

It’s a kiss full of everything—comfort, release, promises unspoken, and a bond that’s only just begun to take root. 

And for the first time in a long time, you both feel a little less alone.

The morning light streams through the curtains of the guest room, casting a soft, golden hue across the room. You shift slightly in the bed, stretching as the warmth of the covers cling to your body. The quiet calm of the house is comforting, and for a moment, you almost forget about the events of the night before.

Beside you, Bucky stirs, his movements slow and deliberate as he stretches out beside you. He smiles softly, his eyes still heavy with sleep. The warmth of his body beside yours make the morning feel even more intimate, and you find yourself smiling back at him, your hearts still wrapped in the same contentment from the night before. The quiet, tender moment is enough to make you feel at home in this space, with him.

"Morning," he mutters.

"Morning," you whisper against the stillness of the room.

There’s a small pause before Bucky rolls over to look at you, his face relaxes, his expression warm. "You sleep okay?"

You nod. "Yeah, it was perfect."

Bucky smiles again, and for a moment, neither of you move, content just to stay in the quiet together. But after a while, the sounds of movement downstairs reach your ears. The familiar hum of voices, the quiet clinking of dishes, and the faint scent of breakfast began to fill the air. It’s time to get up.

Bucky let out a low grunt as he sat up, rubbing his face. "Alright, let's go see what they’re cooking up."

You both swing your legs out of bed and make your way downstairs, your footsteps soft on the wooden floor. 

In the dining room, the table is set. Steve and Peggy are busy cooking breakfast, flipping pancakes and eggs, while Elizabeth sits at the table, coloring in her favorite book. Her face lights up when she sees you and Bucky enter, a wide grin spreading across her face.

"Good morning!" she beams, hopping out of her seat.

"Morning, bee," Bucky exclaims, ruffling her hair as he passes by.

Elizabeth turns to you with a hopeful look. "Can you sit beside me for breakfast?"

You smile at her, moving to take the empty seat beside her. "Of course."

Bucky takes the seat across from you two, settling in with a content sigh. Steve and Peggy appear with platters filled with eggs, pancakes and bacon before taking their seats. As everyone digs into breakfast, the conversation flows easily. Peggy shares a few stories, and Steve makes a few jokes, always quick with a smile. Elizabeth, happily eating her pancakes, chimes in every so often with thoughts on her coloring book, her enthusiasm contagious.

It was simple, quiet—a family breakfast that felt like it had been this way for years. You’re grateful for this company. It has been a long time since you’ve had “family” time like this. 

After a while, Elizabeth pauses, her fork mid-air, and then gasps. She points out the window with wide eyes. "Look! Look outside!"

Everyone turns to see the soft, white snow beginning to fall, the flakes drifting gently down from the sky, coating the backyard in a blanket of white.

The room is quiet for a moment as everyone admires the sight, and then Elizabeth breaks the silence, practically bouncing in her seat. "Can we go play in the snow? Please?"

"Well, how could we say no to that?" Peggy says, smiling at Elizabeth's eager face. "Let’s all go out and play."

"Sounds like a good plan," Steve agrees, rising from the table to grab his coat.

The group moves toward the entryway, where everyone begins to gather their coats, boots, and gloves. You turn to Peggy. "Do you have anything extra I can borrow?"

"Of course," she responds, leading you to the coat rack, where she hands you a warm jacket, scarf, and gloves.

Bucky, looking over at Steve’s collection of winter gear, borrows some too. 

Soon, everyone is bundled up, and with a cheer of excitement, you step outside, the fresh snow crunching beneath your boots. The cold air is sharp, but the sight of the snow-covered backyard makes everything feel magical. Elizabeth immediately runs into the yard, throwing her arms out as she twirls, her laughter bright and carefree.

Bucky follows her, offering to help her build a snowman. Together, you all work to shape the snow into the body, laughing at how much bigger the snowballs get as everyone joins in. The snowman’s arms are made of twigs, and soon a carrot is placed as his nose, with mismatched rocks for eyes.

Elizabeth then scoops up a handful of snow, and with a mischievous glint in her eyes, she tosses it toward Bucky. The snowball hit him in the chest, and Bucky grins, picking up a handful of snow in retaliation.

The snowball fight begins—lighthearted and full of laughter. Elizabeth ducks behind the snowman as Bucky tosses snowballs, narrowly missing her. Steve and Peggy, having finished making the snowman, exchange amused glances and head back inside to prepare hot chocolate for everyone.

Bucky turns to you, his face flushes from the cold, but his eyes soft and warm. He catches your gaze, his expression changing, something a little more tender in his smile.

For a moment, it feels as though everything is quiet again, just the two of you standing together in the middle of the snow, the world outside fading into the distance. Bucky takes a step closer, and your heart races a little, caught in the moment, leaning toward him just as he leans in—

But before your lips meet, a snowball hits Bucky square in the back.

Elizabeth laughs, gleefully sprinting across the yard. “Gotcha!”

Bucky grins and, without a second thought, scoops Elizabeth up, tossing her over his shoulder with ease. “Oh, you’re in for it now, bee,” he says, his voice playful.

Elizabeth squeals in delight, her arms flailing as she is carried through the snow.

You can’t help but laugh, the sound escaping before you can stifle it. There’s something about watching them—so carefree, so lighthearted—that makes your chest tighten with affection. You follow them back inside, where the warmth of the house greets you like a hug.

Steve and Peggy have set up in the living room, the fireplace crackling softly in the background, the scent of cocoa mingling with the cozy atmosphere. They look up when you walk in, Steve’s smile warm and welcoming, Peggy’s eyes twinkling with amusement.

“Hot chocolate’s ready,” Steve says, handing you a mug. “Come warm up.” Everyone takes off their winter gear. 

Elizabeth takes a mug from her mom, her face pink from the cold, her grin wide and satisfied and immediately curls up next to the fireplace, wrapping herself in a blanket. You sit beside her, the warmth from the fire seeping into your skin as you sip your drink, the quiet of the evening settling in around you.

As a movie drifts on the tv, the playful energy of the snowball fight still lingering in the room, you realize how different today has felt. It’s as if the snow fall outside has swept away the weight of yesterday, leaving everything cleaner, fresher. The air feels lighter.

It’s as though, for a brief moment, everything’s exactly as it should be.

After a while, as the evening stretches into night, you hear Bucky’s voice, quieter now, as he thanks Steve and Peggy for letting you stay. "I really appreciate it," he says, his tone sincere, and you echo his gratitude.

“Yes, thank you both for everything. I can’t thank you enough for welcoming me in like you have.”

Steve stands up, pulling you into a tight hug, and Peggy follows, wrapping her arms around you as well. “Anytime,” Steve says, pulling back to give you a knowing look. “If anything ever happens like that again, don’t hesitate to call.”

“Same goes for me,” Peggy adds, her voice warm and reassuring. “Take care of yourself.”

The hug from both of them feels like a shield—comforting. You pull away slowly, smiling up at them, but it’s Elizabeth who steals the moment next.

You crouch down in front of her, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear. “I’ll see you on Monday,” you say softly.

Elizabeth’s small arms wrap around your neck, pulling you into an unexpected hug. “I love you, Miss Y/L/N,” she says, her voice filled with such sincerity that it catches you off guard. “Thanks for saving me.”

You freeze, the words a punch to the chest. You’ve had kids tell you they love you before, but this feels different—more genuine, more heartfelt. You hold her close, letting the emotion surge through you, grateful for her innocence.

“I love you too, Elizabeth,” you whisper, pulling back just enough to meet her gaze. “I’m happy to be here for you. Always.”

Elizabeth’s eyes shine brightly as she tightens her arms around you one more time. Her simple, unguarded affection warms you in a way you hadn’t expected. She’s been a light in your life without even knowing it.

As you stand up, Bucky catches your eyes. His expression is softer than usual, something in his gaze that says more than words could. He gives you a small nod, a silent acknowledgment. Bucky says his goodbye to Elizabeth, her hug even tighter around him. 

"Ready to head out?" Bucky asks, stepping toward you.

You nod, your heart full, taking one last look around the room before following him to the door. The warmth from the house still lingers as you walk out into the night, but with Bucky by your side.

Once you’re in the car, Bucky turns to you. “Ready to get some rest?” His voice is low, like he’s making sure you’re okay, like he’s already looking out for you.

"I can’t go back there, Bucky," you say quietly, the words coming out before you can stop them.

He glances at you, his face softening. "I know. You’re coming home with me. You’re not going back until we can get that window fixed and me and Sam find out more about the intruder." His voice is firm, but with a gentleness to his words.

You don’t protest. You trust Bucky more than anyone. Without another word, you let the quiet of the drive settle over you as the snow continues to build outside.

As you arrive at Bucky’s apartment, he’s quick to grab your bags from the backseat. You realize this is the first time you’ve been here, and a sense of quiet anticipation lingers in the air. Bucky holds your bags in one hand and, with his other hand, gently takes yours as he leads you up a couple of flights of stairs. He unlocks the front door and holds it open, allowing you to step inside first.

The apartment is calm and cozy, the kind of place you’d expect to feel at home in. It’s smaller than you imagined, but there’s a warmth to it—soft, dim lights and the gentle hum of a heater make it feel inviting, a stark contrast to the cold outside.

“I know it’s not much,” Bucky says, closing the door behind him and locking it.

You look around and smile. “It’s nice, comfortable, and honestly, it feels very much like you.” You let out a small laugh as you notice a pile of blankets and pillows scattered on the floor near the couch.

Bucky follows your gaze and chuckles. “Uh, I crash there sometimes. The bed can feel too soft at times.”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me,” you reply, understanding more than he knows. “I get it.”

He nods, a slight smile tugging at his lips before heading toward the kitchen. “I’ll make us some tea,” he calls over his shoulder, the sound of running water and cabinet doors closing filling the air.

You take a seat on his small couch, glancing around, your eyes catching a litter box and a few scattered cat toys in the corner. “Do you have a cat?” you ask, curious as Bucky returns, handing you a steaming mug.

“Yeah, Alpine. She’s at Sam’s place right now. Keeps her whenever I’m away.” Bucky’s voice softens as he talks about her, his fondness clear.

“I love cats. I’ve always wanted one but never got around to it.” You smile at the thought.

“I found her in an alley when I first moved here. She keeps me grounded.”

The conversation quiets as you both sit in the comfort of his apartment, sipping tea. Your thoughts drift back to earlier that day, to the warmth of family and the joy you hadn’t realized you missed until you saw it again. A lump forms in your throat, and your heart aches, the tenderness of the moment catching you off guard.

Bucky watches you closely, sensing the shift in your mood. “Hey, you okay?” He sets his mug down, turning to face you fully, his hands gently cradling your face. The care in his touch is unmistakable, and it sends a quiet comfort through you.

You hesitate for a moment. You’ve been holding this back for so long, the weight of it all pressing down on you. “I don’t know,” you whisper, voice shaking. “I’ve been running from it for so long.”

Bucky doesn’t rush you, only nods, waiting patiently for you to speak when you’re ready.

Taking a steadying breath, you grab your bag from beside the couch, pulling out your wallet and carefully removing a folded picture. For a moment, you hold it, your gaze lingering on the photo, the memories flooding back. Then, you hand it to Bucky, your fingers trembling slightly.

The photo is a few years old now, but it feels as fresh as yesterday. It shows you with your sister and your two young nephews, standing in front of your childhood home. Your sister smiles, with her arms around the boys, their laughter frozen in time. You can almost hear the sound of their joy in the background, and for a moment, it feels like nothing has changed.

"I—" You swallow, the words thick in your throat. "A few years ago, we were driving to my dad’s on a snow day from school. We were going to have an early dinner. Nothing big, just a little family gathering." You pause, your chest tightens. "Another car lost control on the opposite side of the road. We didn’t see it coming. The other car slid into us. My sister, she—she died on impact."

Tears begin to slip down your cheeks, your voice barely above a whisper as the pain resurfaces, raw and unbearable. "My nephews, they were only five and seven. They were taken to the hospital, but they didn’t survive. They died hours later."

You grip the photo tightly, the edges worn from years of handling it, your heart breaking once more.

"And me…" You continue, your voice cracking. "I was the only one who made it. I had to have several surgeries, months of recovery. I healed physically, but mentally… that’s still a work in progress. I miss them every day. They were my family, and I—I don’t know how to keep going without them. It’s changed everything, Bucky. It’s changed me."

Bucky’s hand, which had been resting on the couch, moves to gently hold yours. His grip is steady, reassuring, and there’s an understanding in his eyes—an unspoken recognition of the pain you’re carrying. His voice is low, filled with empathy.

“You’re not alone,” he says softly. “I get it. I know what it’s like to lose pieces of yourself in ways you never think you’ll recover from. But you keep going, even when you don’t think you can. You just… keep going.”

His words strike a chord deep within you, his vulnerability a mirror to your own. It’s not just the soldier in him talking—it's the man who has seen the depths of loss, who has lived through it and come out the other side.

You blink back more tears, nodding, the weight in your chest feeling a little lighter just by having him there.

Bucky’s hand tightens around yours, offering a comfort that needs no explanation. He leans back against the couch, his gaze turning inward for a moment, before he looks at you again, his expression softer now.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, your voice small.

Bucky shakes his head, a slight smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Don’t apologize. You’ve been through hell, and it’s not easy. It’s not supposed to be.”

The two of you sit in silence for a while, neither of you rushing through the pain or pretending to have all the answers. There’s a sense of peace, of understanding, and it’s enough. For now, it’s more than enough.

Finally, Bucky shifts slightly, offering a small, almost awkward smile. “Do you want to take a shower? The first door on the right,” he adds quickly, rubbing the back of his neck.

You raise an eyebrow, teasing him. “I mean—uh, not with me, but if you want to take a shower, feel free to.” He’s clearly embarrassed, but the warmth in his voice is endearing.

You giggle at his awkwardness. “Thanks, I can definitely use one.” You lean in and kiss his cheek, the gesture soft and comforting. “You can join me if you want,” you tease with a smirk as you stand and grab your bag, heading toward the short hallway.

Bucky’s face flushes, but his eyes sparkle with a quiet amusement. “I’ll… think about it.”

Bucky sits still for a moment after your teasing remark, his gaze watches you walk into the bathroom, leaving the door ajar. He runs a hand through his hair, taking a slow breath as he seems to gather his thoughts. 

“Fuck it,” He mutters to himself, pushing through his insecurities, gaining courage with each determined step he takes. 

He pushes the door open softly, the sound of water filling the air as steam starts to roll out. His eyes glue to you through the textured glass door. His fist clenches in need, seeing you so vulnerable and you allowing him to see you this way, works him up more than he thought it would. 

He strips off his clothes, glancing down mentally praying for his dick to not intrude this vulnerable moment but one look at you as he opens the glass door, he knows he’s done for. 

Your eyes meet his, as your chest rises and falls faster as he steps in and closes in on you. Your eyes filter over his toned chest, watching the water glides down and glistens against his metal arm. Your breath catches in your throat as you peak down quickly before looking back to his eyes, the apparent smirk resting on his face. 

"I can... I can wash your hair if you want," His voice is calm, but you can hear the trace of nervousness underneath.

You nod, words lost in your throat as you turn around to face the water. Bucky’s hands are careful, gentle as he pours a bit of shampoo into his palm, his fingers working it through your hair with slow, steady movements. The touch is so tender, you almost forget everything else, letting yourself relax into the sensation of his hands massaging your scalp before the hot water cascades down your back, washing away the remnants of the day.

When it’s his turn, you return the favor, taking a bottle of body wash and working it into a washcloth, reaching out to his chest first. His skin is so warm under your touch, and as you slowly move to wash his shoulders and back, you notice how he lets out a soft exhale, as though the act of being cared for, of sharing this moment, is something he didn’t realize he needed.

You both take your time, no rush, no pressure. Just the quiet intimacy of helping each other unwind, of being present in the moment together, with no expectations. His fingers brush against your arm when you rinse his body, and the gesture feels like a silent acknowledgment of how much trust you’re giving each other in this small space, how much it matters.

When you’re both clean and standing close under the cascading water, Bucky turns to face you again, his eyes searching yours for a moment. There’s a vulnerability there, but also something deeper, something more familiar now, as though the weight between you both is no longer as heavy.

You smile softly, your fingers gently tracing the edge of his jaw, and then, before either of you can second guess it, you close the distance, pressing your lips to his. It’s a soft, unhurried kiss, the water flowing over you both, warm and comforting. The kiss is more of an unspoken promise, a way to share everything that words can’t quite express.

When you pull away, you both stand there for a moment, close enough to feel each other’s breath. 

Bucky finally breaks the silence with a small chuckle. “Well, that wasn’t so bad, huh?”

You laugh softly, nodding. “Not bad at all.”

He helps you rinse off the last of the soap, then reaches to turn off the water. You step out first, wrapping yourself in a towel, your hair damp and hanging loosely. Bucky follows, grabbing his own towel, and you both move toward the small bedroom, your hearts a little lighter than before.

The room is cozy and intimate, lit only by the soft glow of the bedside lamp. As you change into your pajamas, Bucky does the same, his movements quiet but sure. When you're both ready, you climb into the bed, the sheets warm against your skin. He slides in beside you, and for a long moment, neither of you speaks.

It’s not a grand gesture or a declaration of anything, just the simple act of being together. His arm drapes over your waist, pulling you close, and you rest your head on his chest. There’s no rush, no expectation.

“Goodnight doll,” he whispers into the quiet, his voice steady and calm.

“Goodnight Buck,” you reply, feeling the weight of the day finally fall away, the quiet peace of being in his presence wrapping around you like a blanket.

And for the first time in a long while, you fall asleep, knowing that tomorrow can wait, and for tonight, you’re exactly where you need to be.

Thanks for reading! Please reblog & comment <3 would love to hear how you enjoy it and feel free to send in requests!

[enchantingkryptoniteheart-blog]

Best of Intentions - character development - relationship building - snippet #2

They reached the eastern part of the forest that lay in the shadows at the foot of the Lonely mountain. Thorin saw Dwalin and the guards pacing the line of the forest, their horses antsy.

 

Thorin cursed under his breath as he scanned farther up the treeline.

 

“Am I mistaken or is this where they found those…things.” Kili grimaced as his dismounted and walked up towards Dwalin and the other guards.

 

“You are not mistaken, Prince Kili. We have been trying to clear them out but haven’t cleared this area yet. “One of the guards answered.

 

Thorin heard Fili groan quietly as he fought the urge to shudder at the memory of what their currently infestation was. The forest surrounding the Lonely Mountain had shot up and filled out quickly after the defeat of Smaug. That unfortunately had been an invitation for the unwelcome visitors. Thranduil had been relentless in his hunting of them, and many had fled into these shadowed woods.

 

“We will split up. We have to find her quickly. She has no idea they even exist.” Thorin jumped off his calmed steed and tied him off to a fallen log.

 

“Do you think that’s wise Uncle?” Fili whispered to him, his eyes nervously scanning the dense wood.

 

“We have no choice. The longer she’s in there, the higher the chance she’s caught. And I know she has no weapon.”  Thorin growled. He looked over at Dwalin and the guards, who all shared a knowing look before nodding in understanding.

 

“Make it quick. In and out.” Dwalin ordered gruffly before he chose a direction.

 

“Watch each other's backs.” Thorin gave a pointed look to his nephews before he chose an area that looked disturbed. His grip tightened on the hilt of Orcist as he pushed through the undergrowth as quiet as possible.

 

Thorin lost track of the minutes as he crept through the brush. He scanned diligently, his ears straining for any sound of movement or her distinctive voice. He could pick her out of a loud, crowded room he was so fine tuned to her presence. As the minutes passed, he grew increasingly worried for her safety.

 

In the light that flickered through the green canopy of trees his eyes were drawn to a piece of fabric that hung snagged in a broken branch. He crouched down and gently tugged it free, rubbing it with his fingers as a not-so-subtle trail of crushed bushes and upturned moss emerged before him.

 

His jaw clenched as his eyes narrowed in determination. It was a fresh trail.  He quickened his pace as he followeditl, and before long he heard a muffled, yet distinctly frustrated voice.

 

“No! No! You come here right now! I’m sorry I pushed you too far, I thought we had reached an understanding last night!”

 

He slowly looked around a moss-covered tree trunk and peered into the small clearing where we he found a very roughed up Mistlynn and irate mare in a challenging stare off.

He scanned her for any apparent injury, due to the obvious evidence that she had been clearly thrown off into a giant bramble of bushes and wet earth.

Her riding braid was completely unraveled and snared with broken twigs, stickers and leaves that stuck out in every angle atop her head. Her riding breaches and jacket were jaggedly ripped in several places while wet leaves and mud covered her, her face streaked with fine bloodied scratches and decaying forest matter.

 

He let out a breath of relief seeing that she was holding herself upright on both legs, both hands placed defensively on her hips as she glared at the white mare. She whirled around at the sound of his breath rushing out of his chest, her eyes wide in horror.

 

“What are you doing here?” she huffed, her already ruddy cheeks flushing even hotter under his icy gaze.

 

“Looking for you!” He growled, his relief quickly shifting into agitation as he quickly scanned the forest around them. “We have to leave, now.” He grabbed her hand and began to pull her towards him.

 

She wrenched her hand out of his grip, eyes flashing. “I am fine! You didn’t need to come after me. I got this under control.”

 

Thorin raised his eyebrows as he looked at her incredulously. “Of course, how stupid of me to assume you were in need of assistance.”  He gestured sharply at her ragged appearance. “I didn’t realize this wasn’t a new look for you.”

 

Mistlynn’s nostrils flared. “I don’t need you running to my aid at every turn! How did you even know I was here?”

 

Thorin blinked slowly at her before a deep chuckle rumbled his chest as he shook his head. “It was hard to miss the ruckus that erupted from our stables when you decided to go for an unexpected joyride on a runaway horse that is as good as wild.”

 

Mistlynn swallowed visibly. “You saw that?”

 

“Hard to miss a white horse with a screeching dam jumping the paddock fence. I would be impressed if I didn’t know it was unintentional.”

 

“I did not screech.” Mistlynn huffed as she turned away from him indignantly. “There is no need for you to stay here, I will get her back to the Erebor.”

 

“You are coming back with me now. Sod the horse.”

 

She whirled back to face him, her eyes wide in outrage. “No! absolutely not! I will not leave her out here to fend for herself. It is my fault she is out here.”

 

“I will send my master trainer back to retrieve her. It is not safe here we must leave now.”  

 

Mistlynn threw her arms up in the air.  “No! I will not leave without her.”

 

Thorin took a step towards her, so that she was forced to look up at him while trying to maintain her defiant stance with his close proximity. She watched the muscles in his jaw tick as his stormy eyes bore into her, making a shiver ripple down her spine as her stomach erupted with the fluttering butterflies she loathed.

“If you refuse to come with me willingly, I will throw you over my shoulder and carry you out of this forest in front of my nephews and my guard.” 

She swallowed thickly at his threat, his deep voice unbelievably low.

 

“You wouldn’t dare.” She hissed challengingly.

 

“Would I not?” he shot back.

 

A clicking sound seemed to echo through the treetops, rattling the branches. Mistlynn didn’t miss how Thorin immediately tensed at the noise. She heard the mare shriek in alarm before turning and bolting off deeper into the forest.

 

She gasped, moving as if to chase the horse but Thorin grabbed her firmly and pulled her towards him. She looked over, her protest dying on her lips as soon as she saw the look on his face. He held his sword at the ready as he scanned the treetops above them, his face grim.

 

“What was that?” she whispered, suddenly aware of how quiet the forest had gotten. She hadn’t realized at some point how the birds had stopped singing. She had been too distracted with trying to lure the mare back to her; then their following argument.

 

“We have to move. Now.” He growled lowly as he switched his grip from her arm to her hand.

She tried to ignore the nervous fluttering’s that raced through her as his fingers interlaced with hers tightly. He pulled her directly behind him, so that his broad shoulders and chest could shield her if needed.

 

He was protecting her.

 

She blinked as it registered. The King of Erebor was protecting her?

 

She pulled her hand out of his and stepped back.  Thorin whirled around to look at her, surprise and irritation evident on his face. “What are you-“

 

“I should be making sure YOU get out of here in one piece. Why are you protecting me?”

 

Thorin’s jaw went slack momentarily. “Excuse me?”

 

“You're the King! Why are you here, if it is so dangerous to be out here? Shouldn't it be you who is being protected from whatever danger that is out here?” She hissed, gesturing wildly between them.

 

Thorin cocked his head to the side, studying her as if she had grown a third eye on her forehead. He pressed his lips into a thin line as he seemed to process her words, his expression somewhere between alarm and indignation. “In what realm would you ever think that my safety is to be placed above yours?”

 

She was taken aback at his answering question, but before she could form a response her eyes grew focused on something just over his shoulder. Her eyes grew wide in alarm, her mouth opening as if to scream.

He spun around quickly, wielding Orcist with a frightening accuracy that cleaved a long legged spider the size of a midsized dog in two. It dropped to the forest floor, its legs twitching and rustling the brush underneath them.

 

“What in Mahal’s name is that?” Mistlynn gasped in horror as she stared, unable to take her eyes off the grotesque creature in front of her.

 

Thorin grabbed her hand again and pulled her into a sprint. “There are many more where that baby came from. Its parents are much larger.”

 

“Larger?” she shrieked as she fell into a run alongside him. “What are those things? It looked like a –“

 

Three more fell from the canopy around them, two in front of them one in back seemingly out of nowhere. Thorin attacked the two advancing upon them viciously, hacking at their legs before aiming for their fanged heads. Mistlynn took note immediately that these one's, were indeed, bigger. More like the size of a large ponies.

 

Her skin crawled in disgust as she heard the monsters screech as Orcist’s blade severed their limbs. The third one was skittering quickly towards her where her back was facing Thorin’s.

She cursed under her breath that she didn’t have any weapon on hand. She scanned the forest floor in front of her and spied a fallen branch.

She grabbed it, quick enough that she was able to wallop the spider on its head with the club like base of the branch.

 

It hissed aggressively at her as its fangs dripped with venom, spewing towards her. Her stomach recoiled at the sight as she spun deftly, bringing the branch down on one of its side legs, crushing it with the force of her blow.

 

The spider screeched at the impact before lunging at her, its quickness taking her off guard. She felt so out of her element she found herself struggling. It was one thing to fight a frost drake, but another to fight a giant bug that she had never seen bigger than her thumb nail.

The spider grabbed onto her boot and took her down before she could register what had happened as it began to drag her through the underbrush. With an outraged yell she brought the branch down on its head with a sickening crunch.

It released her boot with a blood curdling squeal, she panted as she brought the branch back over head to hit it again. In a flash of black, Thorin jumped in front of her, cleaving the spider in half.

She didn’t realize she was trembling until the branch fell from her shaking hands. Thorin whirled around, his eyes frantic. “Are you alright? Are you hurt?”

 

She shook her head as she fought to calm her nerves. She had never seen such disgustingly evil creatures before. He quickly pulled her to her feet, his eyes scanning over her quickly, his gaze leaving goosebumps in its wake like she had been submerged in ice water.

 

His apparent worry for her both scared and thrilled her. The only one who had ever shown such worry over her had been Argos, and he was gone, because of her.

Her throat suddenly felt swollen as she tried to brush that thought aside.

 

More of the chittering noises cascaded down above their heads. His head shot up, his expression darkening as he scanned the treetops. “Run, that way. Don’t stop!” He pushed her ahead of him.

 

She stumbled as she looked him, fear rushing up somewhere deep within her at the thought of him staying behind. “I’m not leaving you.”

 

He growled as he grabbed her and pushed her forward again. “I will be right behind you. Just run and don’t look back.”

 

“But-“

 

“Run! Now!” he thundered, his eyes flashing with a powerful emotion that made her heart stop. A similar expression had been on Argo’s face that day he pushed her out of the way. Her body tensed at the harshness of the command. She turned and bolted ahead before she could second guess, but was relieved her hear him running directly behind her.

 

She could hear scurrying behind them, and her chest tightened in dread.

 

“Keep running!” Thorin commanded, as if sensing that she was fighting the urge to look over her shoulder.

She leapt over a fallen log, her boots sliding in the waterlogged leaves as soon as she landed. She stumbled slightly before regaining her footing and began to weave through the dense trees.

 

She could see the edge of the forest ahead, a line of buttery light gleaming through the thick canopy and branches. “I see the treeline!” She shouted ecstatically, her adrenaline pulsing through her. She slowed her running when she didn’t hear his response or hear his heavy footsteps behind her. She skidded to a stop and turned sharply, her breathe labored as dread filled her.

 

She could hear him grunting with an occasional yell of aggression in the short distance. She grit her teeth in determination as she scanned the forest floor around her. She eyed another branch, and a smooth rock partially concealed with moss that would fit perfectly in her hand. She picked them up and sprinted towards the sounds of fighting.

 

As she neared, she saw him surrounded by another five spiders between the sizes of a large dog to a full-grown reindeer. She narrowed her eyes in rage at the loathsome creatures. She channeled that rage into a lethal ferocity as she braced herself for battle. She ran up on a fallen tree, launching herself off of it and onto the back of one of the spiders that had been trying to sink its fangs into his leg.

 

With a savage war cry erupting from deep within her chest, she brought the rock down onto the spiders head with a sickening crunch, making the creature crumple upon impact.

She whirled around, her branch coming into contact with another spider, uppercutting the beast right between the fangs with the thicker end of the stick before ramming the rock into its face repeatedly with a savagery she had learned to weaponize from a young age.

 

Her eyesight became tinged with a hazy red as she zeroed in on her foe, her initial disgust forgotten as the rush of battle coursed through her. It became a blur, swing after swing, branch and rock alternating in lethal rhythm. She heard a snap from behind her, prompting her to act on instinct, the hand holding the spider gored rock flying out to take out whatever was coming up from behind her.

 

A strong, callused hand enveloped hers with a firm grip, stopping her with an abruptness that made her torso protest. She looked up, chest heaving as she blinked away the haze. Familiar eyes of a stormy sea met her fierce green, both bright and feverish from the rush of battle.

 

Thorin’s lips quirked up into a playful smirk as he took her in, in all her crazed, bug slaying glory. “You’re such a savage thing.” He chuckled, despite standing in the middle of crushed and twitching bodies of mulched spiders. He flicked his gaze over to her hand, still clutching the rock covered with the gore of her victims. “All with a mere rock and stick.” He mused. “Now that is impressive.”

 

She released the rock and stick simultaneously as she took a step back, shaking her head as if waking herself from a daze. She flexed her hands, willing them to relax after clutching her makeshift weapons so tightly.

She cleared her throat, “I had to make do, given my current circumstance.”

 

“Which is why I told you to keep running for the edge of the forest and to not look back.” He pointed out with a raised brow, his tone more amused than scolding.

 

“I wasn’t going to leave you alone with those …. things.” She pointed an accusing finger at the one larger spider that lay dead by her feet. “Do you have any idea how bad it would look if I made it back to your kingdom without you? As if they would believe me that giant spiders ate you.”

 

Thorin huffed a laugh as he wiped the blade of his sword on a moss-covered log. “Is this going to become a habit, You running about and doing the exact opposite of what I tell you to do?”

 

Mistlynn folded her arms over her chest as she bristled at the jab. “Perhaps? Are you going to make it a habit of telling me what to do?”  She forced a close lipped smile on her face, before turning her back to him and began to walk towards the treeline.

TAGLIST:

@fizzyxcustard @mrsdurin @lathalea @exhausted-humxn-being @dustie-faerie

[patsybelle]

Commission work :3

Process

[ofscalesanddatabanks]

*offers welt some of peepaws OsMaNtHiS wInE*

"Hmm... not bad. Definitely better than the mung bean soda- it reminds me of a similar brand I once shared with friends who I haven- well. Let's not stay lost in the past, shall we?"

[lemongogo]

why do i love the conflict more than anything else . the misery . the incompatibility that spreads like oil slick . wanting so desperately for resolution that never comes . hmmm

[teatimeatwinterpalace]

please welcome to my quite late and very unhinged account of my visit to the east wing of buckingham palace.

I visited my fair share of palaces, castles & others historical sites but Buckingham Palace has SUCH an imprint in our collectives minds that as soon as I saw the Grand Entrance, I could only think about all those iconic images. Standing there felt absolutely SURREAL.

I was saying to my friend "LoOK At ThE GRAvel. We are walking on THE gravel" lmao.

The tour of the east wing was a real treat. We were a small group which made the visit even more special. The first room was the Chinese Dining Room where Elizabeth did the BBC broadcast after Diana's passing. The room was still being renovated so it was intriguing to see what goes on during these big renovation projects.

Then, we were off to the Principal Corridor where the bedrooms of Victoria's daughters used to be and oh my, I could have cried. There were so many paintings that I dreamed of seeing such as the marriage of Alexandra & Bertie, Victoria with Bertie in his russian blouse... There were also so many Romanov's paintings : Alexander I, Catherine II, Elizabeth Alexeievna, Alexandra Feodorovna, the Grand Duchesses Maria and Olga. I even saw the portrait of Charlotte by Graefle after Winterhalter!!!! Btw I know it's just a corridor but I absolutely loved the atmosphere there.

The Yellow Drawing Room also deserves a special mention, it was sooo pretty.

The state portraits of Bertie and Alexandra are just outside the Centre Room along with the portraits of Fritz and Vicky. It is such a nice detail when you think F&V were the first royal couple to appear on the balcony on their wedding day. Look at them… 💕

And so, the pièce de résistance : the Centre Room. Another surreal moment, especially when the guide opened the double doors and revealed *the* view. A very much obstructed one thanks to the Victoria memorial but nonetheless astonishing considering how few people have ever seen this perspective. I felt very moved thinking about all of my favourite people who stood there at one point in history. & You can bet I stood right in front of the centre window, my nose almost brushing the curtain, soaking in the atmosphere for as long as I could haha. It was truly unreal. It felt like stepping into a living piece of history.

No pics were allowed but I sent this photo to my whole family "I was there" lmao.

The rest of the Palace tour with the States Rooms was nice, though it felt a bit crowded. Honourable mentions go to the Picture Gallery (I couldn't help but think of those iconic pics of Diana and Elizabeth after D&C wedding) & THE WHITE DRAWING ROOM sooo pretty with Alix portrait. On the other hand, the Ballroom was rather dreary… but I did get a chance to see Charles' red portrait, which was surprisingly nice irl.

Oh, and before I stop rambling, I'd like to file a complaint to the Palace. They've placed four gorgeous portraits of Vicky (the one by Winterhalter from 1857), Alice, Louise, and Helena in a small, poorly lit passageway right after the Picture Gallery. No one seems to notice them. I was like, DO yOU knoW WHO tHeSE PeoPLE ARE?

so yesterday i might i've bought a ticket for one of the buckingham palace east wing tours this summer ✨

[smerciskart]

"imagine there are two chairs. which one do you sit on and which one do you let mom sit?"

"wtf kind of question is that? why am i supposed to choose between these two??"

"it's a russian joke, just go along with it"

[godoflazziness]

// I bring forth my key evidence that hsr!zhongli is definitely on the luofu or one of the xianzhou flagships ( idk if they actually have osmanthus wine on the other flagships though,, ) /hj /lh

[ashlyns-general-blog]

SO, WHO WAS GOING TO TELL ME THAT THE VA FOR NAZEEM (upon countless other Skyrim Characters) ALSO VOICES ZHONGLI????

and apparently that one dude from Jujutsu Kaisen (I have only seen two episodes, please don't kill me, I like it already, I swear.)

Edit: AND SPEEDWAGON????????? EXCUSE ME???

[crescent-blades]

The elder trudged through the blinding snowstorm, the weight of the younger firmly secured on his back. Memories flooded his mind—days spent in rigorous training alongside his comrades, Rengoku and the others. They had endured countless hours, hauling heavy sacks of potatoes on their backs, running for hours uphill to improve their stamina. Michikatsu had endured much of the ravages of war, nights spent huddled beneath flimsy paper tents, the relentless rain soaking through, the cold mud seeping into his garments. He had endured it all—as the wind howled around him, the elder felt no frustration; he simply pressed on, undeterred by the biting chill and force.  

Michikatsu sensed the subtle movements made by him, feeling a wave of relief wash over him. Perhaps it was merely a nightmare Yoriichi had experienced.. Maybe. He was uncertain about the abrupt turn of events—just yesterday, Yoriichi had showcased their advancements before they all shared a hearty meal together before going home. He.. had always known everything; within a single glance, he was able to discern the potential of anyone. Almost divine in his prowess... He was.. like a god—burning with a brilliance akin to the sun's, drawing everyone into his orbit. 

Today was meant to be another day of growth, a sparring session where Yoriichi would assess their progress. He would once again unveil the intricacies of his techniques, demonstrating the art of combat with an effortless grace. Some would struggle, stumbling over their own mistakes, while others would rely on his guidance—having to be spoonfed by him—as he would tailor their fighting styles just so they could keep up. All of them—they were like small, illiterate children in front of a mastermind, a genius like him. None of them compared..

 The sheer magnitude of his power was just... brilliant. Despite the irritation it caused him, stemming from the belief that Yoriichi had never truly labored for it—he also couldn't help but feel a deep sense of admiration. Despite that unnerving smile, those uncanny words spoken by him—he always found himself right behind, standing right in his shadows, absorbing every lesson, listening intently, and mirroring his every step. He was committed to mastering the sword with that same precision and grace.    

Yet, today.. was different. As the elder had set out to find him, he stumbled upon a sight that shattered his perception. Out of all people, Yoriichi lay unconscious on the floor. Still like a clock that had finally succumbed to the relentless passage of time, its hands frozen in a moment of stillness. Still and unmoving like he had been knocked out completely. The sight struck him with an unexpected weight, and for the first time, a profound worry gripped his heart.. He didn't know why; he couldn't tell, but it just did. His baby brother—this man who he looked up to.. just lay unconscious in front of him.. and now he felt as though.. that was his responsibility to take care of him— Just like he once used to..  

Ordering one of his men, his voice low and urgent as he instructed him to fetch a doctor—reasons for which he kept in secrecy. He was mindful of the other demon hunters, not wanting to stir unnecessary concern among them, and he knew that the younger might prefer to avoid the sudden spotlight as well.

He settled onto the floor next to the futon, beside him, patiently waiting and lightly placing his hand on his forehead to assess his temperature for any signs of fever. What could have happened to him? Had he been attacked by a demon? Was he suffering from dehydration? The man reflected deeply, his eyes shut, but his contemplation was soon interrupted. 

"I am sorry.."  The man's eyes widened. Did.. Yoriichi just say something? His voice was soft and barely audible, almost a mumble—unintelligible as the man regarded him with confusion. What did he say just now..? 'I am.. glory?'. Was this a joke..? Did this man truly choose to taunt him yet again, especially in such a bleak moment? He glanced at the younger, his expression unreadable as a mix of shock and irritation bubbled within him. After everything he had done, this was Yoriichi's way of expressing gratitude?

 "I am glory.." The elder reiterated, studying the younger intently, his expression serious. With a soft sigh, he quickly pushed aside those feelings, averting his gaze in mild annoyance. Perhaps Yoriichi was just simply feeling unwell. With a gentler tone, he sought to redirect the conversation.  "What happened to you..?"